Life · Parenting

What we don’t say but should.

About a year ago, I was brushing my girls hair after a shower. I asked them to look in the mirror and name one thing they liked about themselves. I was floored that they couldn’t. They actually even got upset.

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I know the things to not say in front of them, and I always compliment them too. I don’t put myself down in front of them (sadly I do in my head) but I don’t pat myself on the back either. I always feel like I can do better, and I’m the worst at accepting compliments. However, it’s not just about what we say. It’s also about what we don’t.

So I did. I complimented things about myself over and over until they started to giggle. Finally they each picked something about each other. They found that easier to start. Then they found things about themselves. Then we went into things we’re good at and we found it hard to stop. Soon we were in fits of laughter because one fessed up to loving her toes. Lol.

We decided to do this more often. Even though I was on a quest for them, I found it was good for me too. It’s too easy to focus on the negative all the time.

Even at 34 I’m still learning that.

Hopefully this new process is working. At least it appears to be when my youngest writes messages like this for me to find.

8 thoughts on “What we don’t say but should.

  1. This is a great idea! I do try to make sure I don’t body shame myself in front of my daughter… I don’t talk about diets or loosing weight or things I dont like about myself. I however never really say positive things either. I remember when I was a teenager my best friend had a little sister who was only 3. We used to talk about how fat we were and that we were going to stop eating. One day her 3 year old sister stopped eating too… for a week her parents struggled her to eat anything and it was because she was convinced listening to us that she was fat and needed to diet too. This has always stuck with me, how little minds can start having body image issues at such a young age just based off what others around them are saying!

    1. Yes those stories certainly stick with us, however, we have no idea at the time the impact they have. I hope this technique helps! It helped mine have more confidence!

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